Sebastian and Axl

Open: Skidrow
Headliner: Guns N'Roses
Where: Rexall Center, Edmonton
When: December 7, 2006

I knew going to a Guns N' Roses concert was not going to be the rock shit fest of my life, but I had anticipated some great music and hysterical washout rockstar dancing! Myself and my partner in crime Tom headed down to the concert two hours late only to find out we had missed the opening act; Sebastian Bach. (We weren't entirely surprised... seeing as how we were super late.) Devastated, we hustled into the arena to row 4, seats 9 and 10 and watched Sebastian wrap up his act. I was thoroughly impressed with Sebastian but mostly because he was wearing leather pants. His beer gut fully exposed, his greasy long blonde hair flying everywhere as he strained to complete head bang after head bang, Sebastian Bach reaffirmed why I had a big crush on his in school.
As he disappeared from the stage and we headed into intermission, I tried to find stealth ways to sneak my camera into the joint, but failed miserably with each attempt. So we wait, patiently for Axl Rose to make his appearance. The arena goes black and we can hear the rumble of guitars through the amps and Axl bursts onto the stage. Without a word of welcome or acknowledgement for the city itself Axl wails the words to Welcome to the Jungle and dances in typical Axl fashion; a side to side shimmy, spinning the mic stand, and foot pounding. I loved every minute of it.
The adrenaline begins pumping, I’m screaming and my arms are flying in every possible direction as Axl moves right into the next song only to be interupted by rampaging idiots in the moshpit. He tells them to step back and make room for the small people getting murdered in the front. Axl Rose called someone a 'fucking idiot' and heckled the crowd a little.
Song after song passes until FINALLY the man himself takes a break to talk to the crowd. In not so typical rockstar fashion he talks about the weather. Edmonton is cold he says, but luckily the crowd is warm and welcoming... so lets rock our faces off! Unfortunately instead of hearing more ear drum bursting screaming in Axl rose style, we are subjected to a fifteen minute guitar solo by random musician number 1. At first, your feeling revved and amped but eventually you kind of felt like plugging your ears. I sat down for the first time since I set foot in the arena and I’m getting bored. More time passes and the front man reemerges onto the stage hollering some old school GNR and then slows things down with Knockin on Heavens Door. I’m starting to feel excited about the concert again but I can’t ignore the terrible sound quality and the barely audible lyrics. Four ragging guitarists overpowered Axl Rose 76% of the time, except when he would scream.
I’ve had the chance to sing along to some of my favorite junior/high school songs like Sweet Child of Mine and other classics but to my dismay I had to listen to three more ten to fifteen minute solos. Two more guitar and one piano.(Fortunately one of the guitarists was very sexy... so i stopped listening and really focused!) If I had to have payed money to watch Axl Roses’ random extra band mates that he commissioned for this tour perform extended and irritating solos I wouldn’t have been to impressed. Fortunately, my tickets were free so I sat in my chair bored and made fun of old men with mullets.
The solos wrap up, and im distressed. I’m bored of mullets, solos and Axl Rose keeps disappearing but he was able to interest me once more by playing my favorite GNR song Rocket Queen. To top it all off, Sebastian Bach made a second appearance mostly to show Axl what being an old, washed up rockstar means and killed it! Once the two old timers finished up, they welcomed Bubbles to the stage. Yes, Bubbles, the coke bottle eyed member of the Trailer Park Boys sang and original tune of his own Liquor and Whores. He successfully made two women remove their bras and Axl gave them to him as a token of his appreciation. Bubbles probably received more cheering and praise than Axl himself, but I still was irritated by his performance.
More songs pass and FINALLY the finale. Not that I was hoping it would end or anything...
Paradise City was the last song of the evening. It ended with a massive pyrotechnics show and some random video clips of Martin Luther King in Andy Warhol color on the big screens. Random. Axl briefly thanked our city and Sebastian bach ran back out for one final bow.
So now, as I comb the rats nest I was able to create from my hair I think about how much fun I had tonight. The concert itself, if I was critiquing it as a whole, sucked. Yet, Axl and Sebastian were able to remind me why I love rock music, why concerts are fun and why I loved them both in my younger die hard rock days!
Overall, I am impressed except with Axl Roses' braided hair. No pictures unfortunately but I did get some GNR confetti that I stole during the final singing of Paradise City. It was definitely well worth waiting until midnight to watch the show and it was worth the two hour set. No kicks in the face, or meeting of the band members but maybe next time!